Like most of us, there are things I wish I had never experienced. Things I wish I didn’t know.
This is a Secret Subject Writing Challenge and when I got the prompt, all sorts of things started rolling in my head and heart.
Your “Secret Subject” is:
What’s the one thing you wish you didn’t know?
It was submitted by: Ceraya of A Little Piece of Peace
I could talk about how I wish I didn’t know:
- All the things I’ve had to learn since Mike got sick
- The financial worries we’ve had the last 2 1/2 years
- The pain of my miscarriages in my younger years
- How to start over when we’re close to 60 and tired
- Watching my child struggle with things life has thrown at her
- How you feel when you’ve been betrayed by friends and family
Yet even with all of those things, I can’t say I wish I didn’t know about them. They’re life. In all it’s glorious mess, ups and downs, good days and bad days. For every one of those that were devastating, there were more that were wonderful and I learned from them:
- Mike is truly our #MiracleMike because I did learn those things and we had some great doctors and nurses. He’s still here with me, fighting the good fight.
- We’ve learned money is just a thing. Yeah we need it to survive, but at the end of the day, we’re still here
- I’ve got one child that is my heart
- You’re never too old for new things, new places, new adventures
- Watching my child overcome those things life threw at her and become the strong, capable woman she is with her Mama’s heart
- Learning to appreciate the old and new friends who stick close in your darkest days and always have your back
So to answer the question, what is the one thing I wish I didn’t know?
The pain of losing of losing Caylee. There are no lessons to be learned, no bright spot in that. There never will be. It’s something no one should ever have to learn, how it feels to lose someone to murder. To never have the answers you so desperately want. To look for something, anything to help you make sense of what happened. At the end of the day there is no sense in it. No happy ending, just a huge gaping hole in your heart, in your life that can never be filled.
Below are the links to 13 other bloggers who have participated this month. Grab a cup, sit back and find out what their subjects are this month and what they have to say 😉
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